CLIQUE

Since everyone were alr piss off at th start, (last year June)
it doesn't make it seem lyk we wld stay tgr to me frm tht point of tym.

Ask Jann, i told her
"Even if we get back tgr, we will seperate again.
Next year, when we split. it will all be u and jiyin. weisze and crystal"
And obviously, Jann's answer to me was "Confirm wont one la"
And now? when i tel her "jann i want to go to ur hse"
she says "dont want la (and walks away)"
im not saying its her fault.
everyone doesnt wan to be tgr anymre

And i guess i can say its true now.
maybe bcos of our differences in thinking.
maybe ALL of us have changed.
we are drifting.

Jann and jiyin. you cnt deny tht u hav left us out bcos of ur NEW classmates.
Crystal and Weisze. you cnt deny tht u are always tgr.
I knw me and Dom cant deny that we dont WANT to be part of th US anymre.

It just doesnt feel right,
when all of us were so "fake" with ea other.
when we actually "hated" or disliked ea other,
but not say, until one day, when it reaches th bottleneck,
it just explodes.
That was when i knew everything has changed.
That was when my disappointment dropped to th max.
and nvr had i felt tht way before.
during th trashing session we had,
i was bearing with it,
i wanted to scream right in your faces
and just pour my tears out right in front of u,
but i knew, at tht time,
i couldn't, bcos it wont be concern cming, but joke.

i felt so lost gng to sch in th past
without th clique thre..
with jann walking over to find out wads wrng,
and me nt knwing anth
but now,
even if it happens again,
i guess i would just walk off frm th trashing session
i guess i would not feel th same as b4

As for now,
i KNOW i CANNOT say that friends are th most important,
and tht true friends can last forever.
because even we cant.
even th use to be close friend -
dom and crys.
jann and jiyin
weisze and me
Our conflicts are lyk infinite.

Trying to pull us back wont work.
Only if u can still feel that th US is more important.
Only if u can leave your NEW friends fr th OLD
Only if u can stop studying fr a few hours jus to stay tgr.
Only if we stil rmb tht we WERE friends in th past.

Im sorry if my attitude is gng downhill.
Weisze asked me "Are you piss off at me?"
I told her no, but i knew it was a yes.
Not only because of her, but th whole clique.

Weisze and crys waiting fr th "whole clique" for recess,
obviously knwing tht Jann and Jiyin wldnt go down due to NEW CLASS matters.
apparently frgetting abt how Dom always "needs food"
I knew I was a bitch. Dragging dom away, going to th canteen with her.
Walking off with Edel just to get away from th US

that was only because i cldnt tak it anymre.
Our US is not US anymre.
Maybe bcos of ppl trying to join/pull apart US.
I hate tht feeling
when someTWO walks away with NEW friends.
when someONE walks away for teammates.
when someTWO goes out tgr n hav fun.

If we can stop being selfish,
Stop quarreling over trivial matters
Go out tgr mre often
Try to put ea oher as first place lyk how we used to.
Everything would be diff.
But we know it is IMPOSSIBLE frm th start.

Now, with:
Jann and jiyin having new friends, focusing on studies
Crystal having CCAs
Weisze trying to focus of studies and always grounded
Dom being totally disappointed

and obviously, for me,
i USED TO think of th clique first fr every trouble.
but now, when im in a bad mood,
th clique wld nvr come in my mind but some other random ppl
it can be Edel, Lionel, Jerry, Chenyou, Wanting
Anyone, but just not th clique.

THE CLIQUE WIL NEVER BE THE SAME

i cant pull th clique back,
mayb im too affected by last year's situation
mayb im too tired with th attitudes
mayb im "with someone else"
and probably bcos, i myself was th first to giv up on th clique

if things can change,
we CAN still be clique

{♥}