Went out today with lionel chenyou:D
jinhui came awhile.

played badminton under lionel's house.
and had lots of fun:D
ate subway
jerry came awhile:D

left to play badminton and studied chemistry.
played till 7.30
lionel had to leave.

8pm,
me and chenyou were thirsty
so we decided to trick lionel down
chenyou said i fell down
lionel damn worried,
ran down with antiseptic cream.
hahaas:D
and plasters.
he's so cute! lols
after that his father came down with bandage :D
what a nice dad
hahahas,

but i didnt fall,
so we said tht "th girl that fell"
left home, and then he left
hahahs:D

chat awhile.
8.30pm
all of us left.
went to find sister at outram.
she was with her friends. eunice and junjie.

went regal to pay money,
and left to eat.
th food was nice but not nice.=.=

left home soon,
wanted to play mahjong,
but no where to go D:

{♥}

Hellos:D
Today is my Birthday!!!:D
Morning wake up:D
Recieved sms from:
Louis, Junqiang,
Alina, Jieling, Edel,
Crystal, Weisze, Jerry :DDD

Recieved presents:D
Weisze Crystal and Edel - Cotton on shirt and cardigan(2)
Clover-ed - Hamburger softtoy
Jinhui, Lionel, Jann, Jiyin, Junren, Chenyou-Whiteboard, keychain and sunsihine:D
Merlyn, Zhangyi, Eryue - Money punching bag
Esther - Soft toy
Toylene - photo frame
Mabellyn - Mirror
Ergu, Biaojie, Shushu - Watch
Dabo and Nainai - hongbao

:DD

went to jerry's house.
changed and went amkhub fr movie
Dear John :DD
Its nicee! aahahas.
Jerry was so dao=.= lols:D
they waited cab with me (merlyn, weisze, jerry)
MERLYN LOOK LYK CHAOAHLIAN! :D

Went to Dabo house
everyone was there alr.
food was prepared:D
so nice laas:D
Shanghai noodle, Shuijiao, Curry:DD

Recieved a pink watch:D
very nice:D
sang bdae song and took photos
nicholas damn funny.
th monk + chaoahbeng! hahahas:D

had fun today:D
at least it was better than last year:D

{♥}
last year's today, i got to know you.
and now, we dont know ea other

Today's dance was tiring.
Fan dance was pain.
bruises on my leg.
and th dancers gave us cake fr birthday.
talked to chenyou and bb boys just now,
they're hilarious:D

And went home with sherman,
th cake thing was super lame and funny
thanks dancers fr th cake[:

jiyin, get well soon

{♥}

Yeahs i already know she doesnt exist anymore.
well, since u dnt bother, i dnt see a point in arguing over this matter.
and yeahs, th us is already over.
i can see there is another us for you.
so i dont wana care anymore too,
but understand that ppl are feeling awkward over this situation.
and they have tried hard enough to try to get u bak.

Its not that we want to convey thru blogs
but if we come to u, wil u even bother,
why are u th one making th relationship worse.
please laas,
well which part of it is fictional then?
im sorry but i dont think im wrng,
i dnt think im wrng fr th past, and nt th present.
i dnt understand wad ure thinking,
whats wrong with u now?
ure not th only one tired by this matter.

but everyone is trying to mak things workout,
but all you do is avoid.
so wad else can we do?
i dont understand why th fck are u so angry.
because u were th one who used to be th peacemaker.

Im glad u knw u have really changed.
i really wonder where is th jann i once knew.
thanks fr being sucha great friend in th past.
and this is nt sarcastic.

Stupid asshole

You're busy when it comes to me.
You're free fr everything.
Hellos? Significance=0%?
but well, i gues you dont care either.

im taking ur tym with
ur friends
away frm u

and im sorry fr everything alright,
im sorry...

I'm wavering again.
and i knw of my temper.
one day, when i make th wrong choice,
please dont blame me.
but i really hope i wont.

you're too important fr me to lose.
{♥}

Aft reading th blogs,
i realise, everyone is living in a mask.
living in ur own world, nt wanting to face th fact.
th fact that yes u hav changed,
th fact that wht u hav been doing shows u dont care.
things have changed, and we're nt th same.
if now, we asked u to go out with us,
you would say no.

everything is so different it seems to crazy fr me to accept.
but well, even if it seem that way, i've accepted it.
but cant we talk? cant we sit tgr and talk?
must we avoid ea other,
and fake a smile when we see ea other.
because u jolly well know u dont wan to smile at us.
u jolly well knw u ARE indeed angry
and deep inside, u knw u have changed.
but u are not facing th fact. u think u hav not changed,
but well, u have. and i admit i did too.
mayb i hav grown to understand,
understand th fact tht friends may not be th most important.
and to understand that being without friends is not much a great deal,
if u have th right person there for u.

im sorry if anything i did piss u off
but hey, i dont think im wrong.
and if u cant keep to ur promise of staying tgr,
then nvr promise. empty promises are not wad i want.
u say u wil adhere to it,
but today, u left even before we have started talking.
u were sitting with ur new friends th other day.
u avoid us when we came over.
well, now i dnt want to care anymre.
bt all i hope is we can stil be friends.
we may nt be a clique, bt at least friends that stil talk to ea other.

{♥}

TOOK PHOTO IN CLASS
Weisze isn't in th photo bcos she was sitting infront.
sorry:X

{♥}

Hellos.
Today sucked.
Thanks to Mr LeeKM,
He ruined our mood after school.
Nagging at us over Class Spirit
Wad does he expect frm a class,
That has only been tgr fr 2months?
What does he expect us to do?
To bond a class tht obviously will not be bonded.
Please, do something before u even speak
You're talkin crap, not giving a shit out of urself.
You totally spoiled our mood.

Tomorrow will be having another committee meeting.
But will be having dance.
Not sure if can stay.
Stupid Homecoming Day,
with an unthankful class.
with a talkcrap teacher.
Life just cant get any better

{♥}

Stupid D.
You have ruined my life.
With ur existence
I actually gave up on him in th past,
and i actually became another person because of u
You changed drastically, and left.

Then, you liked another girl,
and apparently, rumors spreaded of u 2 tgr.
Now, she's hurt,
You're with another girl.

Wow? So all you do is hurt girls
Man, why did i even get so upset in th past?
Why did th other girl,
who is now gone, get so upset over you
I bet u dont regret losing her forever.

18feb10
Thursday,
went to find Jerry after school.
weisze and crys went to Macs opp Monfort.
kind of bad mood i think, i dont know but well,
today was different from th other days.
recieved present from jerry:D
his mum gave me hongbao:D

19feb10
Friday, Yesterday
After school, recieved Sis's sms,
she didnt bring her ingredients for exam,
bus-ed home, chiong shower and ran out of home
Brought th stars and hearts along.
Cab-ed to Bukit Batok.
Took th Merz cab, reach thre gt scolded by sis
"wah! sit merz very ex lehs!"
o.0, asked th uncle to send me bak to amk.
bought cup noodles.
ate at weisze's house.
her mum gav me hongbao:D
talk talk and watched Hannah Montana.
Looked at ea other's itouch.
apparently, its my sis and not mine D:

Went to amkhub, bought th star bottle.
me and weisze ran to cubicle in th toilet and started putting it in,
we were saying things tht sounded wrng frm th outside
"ehs, why u tak out?"
"i help u la"
"eh careful"
"WHY U TAK OUT UR SHIRT?!"

it was damn hilarious,
it wasnt enough so we ran back to Minitoons.
bought one smaller jar, then ran back toilet
went into th same cubicle.
couldnt open th cap, so we ran back to change into another one.
ran back to OUR CUBICLE
but someone occupied it,
went to th sink thre to do.
she was so interested in th notes i wrote.
but too bad :X

i was wearing a dress too short,
so i ran to cotton on with her and bought a shirt and pants.
hahahas. and could see th strap laas! and luckily mine was black=.=
so i went handicap toilet with her,
changed and weisze dropped her phone in th toilet bowl!
wht th hell!?
so damn lame, she put her whole hand it to get it. lols
her phone is spoilt now,
so dont contact her thru handphone.:D

Took bus to Jerry's house,
They went to smoke
i went up to hide th present in his room
hid it behind his bed,
STEAMBOAT for dinner.
Donovan, Brian, Dexter, Jerry and Me:D

Ate alr they went smoke again. o.o
played th drinking game with them.
but didnt drink much this tym,
i didnt play. and keep sabo till Jerry
King was 20 pushup, then they say Jerry help me do, cos idk hw to
Then in th end i kena 3.
Jerry took 2. so it was 100!
then in th end he didnt do :X
Donovan and Brian were drunk.

O.O
Jerry bad mood, cos his mum dnt let him go Don house.
so he was screaming at Brian,
cos he play matchstick.
Left with Brian Dex and Don.
Told jerry whre th present was.
hahahs:D
Happy 3rd month:DDD

They smoked and i waited fr Brian.
Took 88 with him,
and apparantly i gt scolded my him
fr dk wad reason laas=.=

he was freaking ppl out
cos he looked damn seh, lyk on drugs.
i dropped off
and he didnt realise until i sms him
"get off at ur stop!"
o.o, but i bet he didnt understand wad i was saying.
he texted bak "whh9 r u?"
then i was thinking, is it Where are you? or Who are you?
so i just said i was Jolyn. and i've dropped off.
lols:D

{♥}

Am i your substitute fr ur friends?
Are u saying that i've taken up ur tym with ur friends?
Are u regretting fr wad u hav chosen?
Hey, i was super pissed at you okay.
You make me seem unwanted.
But after seeing you
The anger melted
Why is your impact so great on me?

THANKS FOR TELLING ME YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SCHOOL TMR
WHEN I WAS WAITING TO SEE YOU TOMORROW.
THANKS FOR NOT BEING THERE
WHEN I APPARENTLY NEED YOU TO BE

WE WERE TRYING SO HARD TO MAKE PEOPLE THINK THAT WE WERE A CLIQUE
THEY WERE TRYING SO HARD TO DENY THEIR DAMAGE ON ME
whenever i mentioned.
I WAS TRYING SO HARD TO SAY IT DIDNT AFFECT ME
THEY WERE TRYING SO HARD TO MAK ME KNOW THEIR HATE TO ME

NOW EVERYTHING HAS REACHED TH BOTTLENECK
{♥}

If it were you being put in my position in th situation,
you would knw th disappointment.
now i knw hw dom feels...
there but not there at all.
part of it but not part of it at all.
trying so hard to hold back th tears
trying so hard to explain,
but nothing came out.
at tht point of trashing session
i was thinking.

WHY TH HELL AM I TOKIN TO THEM?
WHY DID I TRY SO HARD TO BE WITH THEM?
WHAT DID I DO TO MAKE MYSELF IN THIS SITUATION?
HOW TH HELL DID I BECAME FRIENDS WITH THEM?
WHY I HAD TO TOLERATE WADEVA THEY'RE SAYING
AND WHY AM I SPENDING TYM SITTING HERE TRYING SO HARD TO EXPLAIN.
BUT NOTHING JUST COMES OUT,
AND WADEVA I RECIEVE, WAS PURELY
NEGATIVE IMPRESSION OF ALL OF YOU,
COMMENTS THAT HURT LYK SALT ON A WOUND
AND A DEEP STAB IN TH HEART

What nice friends i used to tell everything to.
What nice friend i tot u were bt u hated me while consoling me
What nice friend i tot u were until i realise hw much u despise of me
and what a great clique we were, talking bad abt ea other behind ea other's back
WHAT A NICE CLIQUE WE WERE, HURTING EA OTHER WITH WORDS
that were so much worse than fist.

friends just cant get any better
{♥}

How long has it been since we sat down tgr?
How long has it been since we celebrated a thing tgr?
How long has it been since we talked abt th same topic tgr?
How long has it been since we had a chance to walk tgr?
How long has it been since we were a clique?

{♥}

CLIQUE

Since everyone were alr piss off at th start, (last year June)
it doesn't make it seem lyk we wld stay tgr to me frm tht point of tym.

Ask Jann, i told her
"Even if we get back tgr, we will seperate again.
Next year, when we split. it will all be u and jiyin. weisze and crystal"
And obviously, Jann's answer to me was "Confirm wont one la"
And now? when i tel her "jann i want to go to ur hse"
she says "dont want la (and walks away)"
im not saying its her fault.
everyone doesnt wan to be tgr anymre

And i guess i can say its true now.
maybe bcos of our differences in thinking.
maybe ALL of us have changed.
we are drifting.

Jann and jiyin. you cnt deny tht u hav left us out bcos of ur NEW classmates.
Crystal and Weisze. you cnt deny tht u are always tgr.
I knw me and Dom cant deny that we dont WANT to be part of th US anymre.

It just doesnt feel right,
when all of us were so "fake" with ea other.
when we actually "hated" or disliked ea other,
but not say, until one day, when it reaches th bottleneck,
it just explodes.
That was when i knew everything has changed.
That was when my disappointment dropped to th max.
and nvr had i felt tht way before.
during th trashing session we had,
i was bearing with it,
i wanted to scream right in your faces
and just pour my tears out right in front of u,
but i knew, at tht time,
i couldn't, bcos it wont be concern cming, but joke.

i felt so lost gng to sch in th past
without th clique thre..
with jann walking over to find out wads wrng,
and me nt knwing anth
but now,
even if it happens again,
i guess i would just walk off frm th trashing session
i guess i would not feel th same as b4

As for now,
i KNOW i CANNOT say that friends are th most important,
and tht true friends can last forever.
because even we cant.
even th use to be close friend -
dom and crys.
jann and jiyin
weisze and me
Our conflicts are lyk infinite.

Trying to pull us back wont work.
Only if u can still feel that th US is more important.
Only if u can leave your NEW friends fr th OLD
Only if u can stop studying fr a few hours jus to stay tgr.
Only if we stil rmb tht we WERE friends in th past.

Im sorry if my attitude is gng downhill.
Weisze asked me "Are you piss off at me?"
I told her no, but i knew it was a yes.
Not only because of her, but th whole clique.

Weisze and crys waiting fr th "whole clique" for recess,
obviously knwing tht Jann and Jiyin wldnt go down due to NEW CLASS matters.
apparently frgetting abt how Dom always "needs food"
I knew I was a bitch. Dragging dom away, going to th canteen with her.
Walking off with Edel just to get away from th US

that was only because i cldnt tak it anymre.
Our US is not US anymre.
Maybe bcos of ppl trying to join/pull apart US.
I hate tht feeling
when someTWO walks away with NEW friends.
when someONE walks away for teammates.
when someTWO goes out tgr n hav fun.

If we can stop being selfish,
Stop quarreling over trivial matters
Go out tgr mre often
Try to put ea oher as first place lyk how we used to.
Everything would be diff.
But we know it is IMPOSSIBLE frm th start.

Now, with:
Jann and jiyin having new friends, focusing on studies
Crystal having CCAs
Weisze trying to focus of studies and always grounded
Dom being totally disappointed

and obviously, for me,
i USED TO think of th clique first fr every trouble.
but now, when im in a bad mood,
th clique wld nvr come in my mind but some other random ppl
it can be Edel, Lionel, Jerry, Chenyou, Wanting
Anyone, but just not th clique.

THE CLIQUE WIL NEVER BE THE SAME

i cant pull th clique back,
mayb im too affected by last year's situation
mayb im too tired with th attitudes
mayb im "with someone else"
and probably bcos, i myself was th first to giv up on th clique

if things can change,
we CAN still be clique

{♥}

Hellos
Gosh, he's not back yet. :O
coming back SOOOOONNN:D

i just read a few ppl's blog.
firstly, some kinda love triangle.
A is B's good friend (both girls)
A steads with C.
B is C's good friend.
A and B breaks up.
After a few days,
B and C comes tgr.
Being tgr for a year plusplus.
they broke up a few days ago, and went tgr a few days ltr.
O.O



next.
A(girl) and B(boy) used to be super close friends
B changed drastically and hates A
C(girl) becomes B's best friend.
B's friend used to say A and B were couple.
and after th situation.
B and C were said to be couple.
Now, C likes B
But B is tgr with someone else. o.0
wad a messy relationship.
yeahhs... this kind of guy.. no use one. :X

{♥}

I know i've been in a bad mood attituding ppl,
you may say i have changed,
drifting apart from u all,
and i know thats th truth,
bcos i just cant spend tym with u all.
it makes tym seem so slow, so boring
i dont knw why, im just irritated by you all.
it seem lyk you have ur own topic and i just dnt wan to join,
i feel lyk an outsider, and i dont lyk it,
i feel lyk i dont understand u all
and i dont want to spend tym knwing.
it just doesnt seem right.
the tym when we used to be together, it felt lyk it didnt happen
how could it have happened in th first place.
mayb we just cant communicate anymore.
we are drifting apart.
sorry for being sucha bitch.

"always walking at th front,
"copying" wad you do,
making ppl feel left out
irritating you all"
or wadeva it is.
i just dont want to bother anymore
it feels so not right being tgr.
its just not right...

how you used to nt wan me to go out with u all.
how you used to leave me out
how you used to hate me
how you used to get even with me
im fine with it now,
im fine with anything, becos i just dnt want to care anymore
what for bother? it just doesn't seem to mak a point

i'll try to live a life of myself
but i'll not interfere with th "us"
{♥}

Friday: 120210
went to school early.
did makeup and sprayed hair lyk mad.
prac once and rushed to backstage.
dance was an awful failure. we did pathetically.
and im surprised even the best made mistakes.
bloody pissed with a bitch who doesnt attend dance prac,
and she even dragged ppl down.
poor rachel

went back to class.
left for Spring It Up.
rushed down to field for fire drill.
ran up with weisze to tak bags for sme ppl.
mr tay asked if we were suppose to be "casualties."
Jiansheng was super cuteee. lols.
ohhs, left for kwaychap with merlyn and zhangyi.

went home, shower, left to jerry house.
went to amkhub with him.
saw yongsheng and claudia on th bus o.0
watched Valentine's Day.
and th 4 of them quarreled=.=
jann was super lame in th cinema.
she was going crazy at Taylor Lautner.
but her reaction is lyk super duper slow,
got influenced by Jiyin.
poor jiyin didnt get to watch th movie.
the movie was kinda nice:D

waited for Jerry's mum with him.
And he left to his aunt's house.
i went home,
despite sms-ing them hoping they would reply quickly,
they did not. and pushing th blame to him.
they did not reply me until i was half way home.
they had FUN themselves.
disappointment in th clique.

140210:
Jerry isn't in Singapore.
Instead, he's in HongKong,
Went to temple and SiMaLu,
got burnt by th jossticks very badly.
went home, helped in cooking.
auntie uncle cousins all came.
ate dinner,
played blackjackkkk. luck wasnt good.

150210:
went to Dajiu house.
Had some fun.
Took many photos, but its with my uncle's cam.
Blackjack like mad.
Super irritated by my cousin.
He's so damn irritating i feel lyk punching him in th face mans.
Sister and Mum went to Casino.
Went home home homeeee.

160210: TODAY!
went to DaBo house.
its lyk th best=.=
after all, i stil love them:D
Erjie and Biaojie cooked
watched tv
i found out that Esther (Some1 related to me)
is super pretty[:
hahahas. reminds me of denise, but prettier.
ate jiaozi.
Da bo told us abt his rebellious years,
killing many ppl in the coffeeshop
using those "parang" to whack ppl.
hahahas:D
didnt knw daddy was lyk tht too.:D
had fun. carsick. stupid taxi driver gave me carsick.

{♥}

Hey little girl,
be honoured cause theres a new post dedicated to you

Stop being childish
Disowning ppl for ur so-called "reason",
The "i-dont-like-her-so-dont-be-my-bro" reason.
Please girl, get a life!
When he needs ur help you're not there.
I dont understand why ppl can get close to you
when ure just a two sided bitch
if u really treat him well
why are u leaving him when he's in need.
your childish acts disgust me.
stop acting like a 3year old kid.
slapping hands with her and laughing at some
i-dont-think-its-that-funny joke.
laughing at crystal when she stands up and walks away
hey? you think its funny?
then u have never seen urself in the mirror before.
For god's sake.
You're disgusting, and please?!
Whats with?
Trying to pop your eyeballs out when staring at people
Trying to look "scary" but just look childish
Trying to make urself feel better when u mak ppl hate you

Hellos?
Give yourself a good tight slap
One day, you'll walk pass us and not dare to stare back
then, you'll run to a little boy and say
"Hey, she stared at me! Im so scared D: Help me scold her D:"

Please, that is so last season.
Go running and crying to another guy
and say that people stared at u,
because, you are meant to be stared at.
Not because you're pretty or wadsoever.
But because ure just so disguting we cant stop ourself from staring.

Oh yeahs
you're not just being hated by us,
but also by your own so-called-friends
Because, ure so utterly twosided,
they think ure a bitch too!

{♥}
dedicated to the little girl
havent you learnt ur mistake, LITTLE GIRL?
you need to grow up!

HELLOS!
Feb 2,
went for dance.
tortorous with xiaotiao.
o.o did th guwu
i realise guwu is super tiring.
mayb fr me only laas=.= cos im physically not fit at all=.=
i miss netball D:

Feb 3,
went for dance too
Did JibenGong and one tym of GuWu.
O.O
i think we're gna be screwed up for performance

Feb4
Dom wasn't here D:
It was her birthday.
Happy birthday dom!
Moodswing. BAD MOODSWINGS!

Feb5
Left home with weisze.
didnt go to buy my anita desai book
D:
so screwed up for lit.
Played frisbee during pe.
went crazy with weisze.
and she got freaked out
He dnt want me D:
o.o
i think im mad.

Feb6 TODAY!
Wnt to th shop.
Chenyou and Lionel surprised me by coming to find me
Went to eat Arnold's with them
It was extremely nice:D
Went back shop.
Went to play badminton for 10mins.
left back.
stupid a maths question8!
bloody shyt, dnt knw hw to do.
BAD MOOD SWINGS D:
went home at 7pm.

Things nowadays,
it feels so rocky to me D:
{♥}

{♥}